Three Words Every Runner Lives To Say . . .

I Finished Boston.


I'm glad I've had one chance in my life to feel like a rock star. It is hard to imagine 26.2 miles of people cheering and screaming to support you fulfill a dream, but what a wonderful, fun experience it was. It may be the only time in my life I do it, but I am so grateful I was able to have this experience--thanks to a wonderfully supportive husband and family that watched our kids while we were in Massachusetts. In typical fashion, we didn't take ANY pictures the entire trip, so I'm left with this great "proof" picture from the race photographer

Camping

Bullet style:

*It is hard to put in to words, but there is something so renewing about being out in nature. The air feels more clean and fresh.
*Food tastes better camping: tinfoil fish and veggie dinners, s'mores, dutch-oven cobbler, camp breakfast with eggs, hot cocoa, pancakes, and bacon.
*The kids somehow enertained themselves for hours with nothing but some sticks, a butterfly net, and wildflowers. Seriously, why isn't that kids have so much fun camping??
*Staying up late with good friends, talking for hours around the camp fire (I just realized how cheesy that sentance sounds, but I'm leaving it anyway)
*Our family of four snuggling up closely in our tent to keeo warm in the FREEZING cold temperatures that night.
* Not sleeping a wink with JT curled up akwardley asleep on my chest. My back was painfully exposed to the cold bottom of the tent floor, but I didn't want to move and risk the other alternative of an unhappy JT screaming and waking the other families close by.

A BYU Experience

A couple of weeks ago, we had nothing scheduled for the afternoon, and my kids were getting bored, and beginning to fight, as they tend to do more when they get bored. I started watching the clock, calculating how many hours till bedtime, and then stopped myself. I've been trying harder lately to embrace these years: these years, before we are running from school to practice to appointment. Right now Olivia has dance class twice a week, but that is about our only regularly scheduled obligation. In just a few years though, Olivia will be in school and other sports and lessons, and our free days will be a thing of the past. It is exciting to wake up each day and try to think of what fun memories I can create for my kids while we have so much time together. So, instead of just enduring the hours till bedtime, I packed up the kids and our hiking backpack and decided we would hike the "Y" together.
It's been about 7 years since I hiked up to the Y, and I've only done it once, so I had forgotten just how steep those switchbacks are! I wasn't sure we'd make it to the top, but my kids are troopers! And, let's be honest . . .so am I. For most of the way I had one kid on my back in the hiking backpack and another child in my arms. I was very sore the next day! Just about everyone I passed on the way up acted impressed, though I'm sure they were thinking I was kind of insane to attempt the climb alone with my two little ones. But we did it!
The afternoon ended appropriately with a shared burger and fries from the Creamery on 9th East and a box of popsicles.

Some oldies, but goodies.

You are the trip I did not take;
You are the pearls I cannot buy
You are my blue Italian lake;
You are my piece of foreign sky
-Anne Campbell-

I have heard and read the trepidation some mothers feel towards Mother's Day: the invariable "angel mother" talks given at church, the sappy Hallmark cards with hyperbole and cliches that perpetuate stereotypes impossible to achieve. While I have experienced guilt about the gap between the mother that I am and the "perfect" mother ideal (believe you me, by 7pm doing the bedtime routine by myself I am no angel mother), I haven't felt this same dread regarding Mother's Day.
I appreciate the fact that the nation takes this day to show reverence towards what I believe is a divine relationship: mother and child. As a society, it can't be a bad thing to take a day to reflect upon our family ties, especially those ties dealing with the very creation of life.

Many days, thoughts cross my mind that cause me to question the value of my role as a parent. Am I wasting my talents? I can't even keep my own shirt or my children's noses clean all day! When such negativity influences me, my parenting suffers as well. My patience with my children disappears. The spilt milk on the kitchen floor becomes a bigger catastrophe than it in reality is, since a clean kitchen floor somehow becomes an accurate measure of the value of my work.

Many days though, I parent with more joy. I am less critical and more generous with both myself and my children. These are the days I feel I am a better parent. Today I had several of those moments. Olivia's excitement over the bouquet of beautiful dandelions she picked. JT telling me, "I like your brown eyes." Why thank you, buddy! Seeing the uncomplicated joy my children find in a simple game of duck, duck, goose. Olivia's reminders and excitement about family night.

Reminding myself how short childhood is. Sounds cliche, but they are young for only a short time. There are so few years where I am the dominate influence in their life. Soon there won't be any little bodies clamoring to sit on my lap. As exhausting as it can be some days, this is such a wonderful time in my life! As I peeked in on Olivia tonight as she slept, I stopped for a moment to think about what it was that influences a child. What forces shape and teach a human from the time they are an infant to an adult? What influence will my parenting have? I believe it is my patience, love, and joy that will influence my children the most. Hopefully in our simple day-to-day life here at home, I can show through example how to be a good person.

More days than I would like to acknowledge, I have lost my patience and raised my voice at my children (mostly at Olivia--so sorry Livs). But, I hope that I am becoming better. I hope that my children don't feel that they are a burden or an annoyance to me, when in reality they are my greatest joy! Tonight, as I was kissing Olivia goodnight and telling her how I loved her, I started to tell her that she was special to me, when she interrupted and said, "I know. JT is your gem, and I'm your jewel. Cause I like to wear jewels" (she is really into dress-up right now). It is true. As cheesy and cliche as it sounds, I know that they and Mike are my greatest blessings.